Do you ever have a dream that you awake from and fall back asleep just to dream it again? Do you ever have a dream that shares aspects of your life events and wonder if they are repressed memories? Do you ever think your dreams are so life-like that they foretell present or future events in someone's life? That's how this dream was to me, and in so many ways it showed me things that I could never fathom. I don't know if my writing will reflect how my dream truly was, but it was dramatically showcased enough to win an Emmy Award if it was a movie (right here you are suppose to laugh with me), haha!
PART ONE
We were down on our luck, Jordan Supon and I. We were a couple living in impoverish conditions. But not exactly like the impoverish person that lives on the street or living in a shelter, but a couple who couldn't put food in our mouths and didn't want to get to the point of no return. We wanted to be proactive and thought of ways to not get to the point of being beggars on the street. Jordan came to a conclusion after a long list of other ideas that failed us. An idea that we debated on and argued over for hours. An idea that we pleaded with God over that is was the only sure-fire way of stabilizing us. The idea that we despised to do, but was stuck imagining it so we'd get the courage to follow through with it.
"I can't do it!" I shout holding tears back.
"I don't want us to have to do it either," Jordan says. "Do you think I want someone else to have you? It will devastate me! I'm afraid I'll grow angry knowing that and will do something to that poor bastard who didn't know what was coming."
I broke down into tears. Moments later I collect my composure and say, "do you think I will be okay seeing you with another woman? This is probably what you want! Something . . . anything different, even if it is putting us in danger!"
"That is not it whatsoever! Hun, I love you, and I'm only doing this to help us out," Jordan says sincerely. "If this is the only thing I wanted, I would have only put myself in danger and never make you apart of this. But we are apart of each other and we have to do this together whether we want to or not." Jordan held my arms and looked me dead in the eyes. His sincerity and the way he looked at me in desperation gave me the nudge I most dreaded - I nodded my head in agreement and he made the call. We are going to sell our sex for money. Nothing more, nothing less. We have now gone to the lowest class that I never knew that we would. We were not going to be one anymore - it won't matter if it were one or 20 other sex partners, we knew it will mess with our minds and nothing like that will ever be the same between us. But knowing me, I had to see some light on this decision as a way to cope. So, I sat there on the living room floor still in a state of shock while Jordan was in the other room on the phone, reminding myself I'm selling sex, but I wasn't a prostitute. I was not doing this to profit, I was doing this to survive. And I wasn't like any other drug-addicted whore, I am clean and refined. This was my licentiousness.
"You all want something? Nails done? We do male manis and pedis too!"
Jordan said something to her in code to let her know it was us. We were outside for a few minutes and as they spoke, their words began to fade as I got lost in thought watching this woman. Blue nails, ugly stained teeth, raggedy old skin, older looking than her age. I watched her smack her gum like her shit doesn't stink. I said to myself I wasn't as bad as her - thank God! All I could imagine after looking at her physical features, is wondering what can't be seen, like the diseases she might carry knowing she will be having sex with my fiance! I grew hatred for this woman I didn't even know, and I even began to feel my face tighten up in front of them. She noticed. "You okay, Doll?"
"Yeah, just peachy," I say sarcastically, and continue. "So, if we give you these services, would you throw in some free nails for me?" I had nothing to lose. Plus, I don't ever get a chance to do my nails because I didn't have the money. I was also thinking like a business person. If I get in with her enough, become better acquainted, maybe I can draw up other people who would gladly do this shit with her and whomever else she's got, and leave me and Jordan out of it, one of these days.
"Sure, Doll," she replies to me, then looks at Jordan. "Right this way you two." She brought us in past the salon area to what appeared to be a break room with a table and a couple of lounge chairs. She walks back outside and lights up a cigarette. I could tell she was a bit skittish about anyone seeing this transaction go down. Also, from the looks of it, she was waiting for her husband or lover (who knows what he was to her!) to get there since I didn't see anyone else there besides the three of us. It was quite awhile before he showed and I was growing restless. I was here to do a job and if people won't be on time, then they are disrespecting my time and my services. I started to walk up to the lady to ask when this guy was going to get here, but halfway to her she perks up outside as someone came her way. It was HIM. The man I was going to have sex with. The bastard who will violate me anyway he wants to since he's paying me in exchange. I felt like I was about to lose my virginity all over again . . . nervous, afraid, and yet inviting.
Jordan comes out from the back slowly, as if walking out slow will stop time somehow. As he was walking out I was being introduced. His name was Buck, or Bo, or something, I don't remember, but let's just call him Buck. And let's call the lady Lyla so that we can differentiate everybody in the dream. "Hi, my name is Angela." Shit! I use my real name, and how can I be so casual about this? How does someone act in this type of a situation? Be cool, I tell myself. Buck looks like he just crawled off the couch after drinking a 6-pack. He has a stained white tank top on, blue jeans and a belt that seemed to be holding up his beer gut rather than his pants. He was grey-haired and a bit scruffy on his face. His eyes were blue and they appear to show a more sensitive side to him than his exterior does. (In real life I don't know who Buck or Lyla are).
Lyla eagerly says, "Follow me everyone, " and we follow her to the back. She shuts the salon down, turns off the lights, we enter the break room . . . pass the break room after another door. We were going further back. How far back does this salon go, I ask myself? By this point, Jordan and I were so caught up thinking what we were going to do next, that we didn't speak much after this. We were also mysteriously allured by the unknown. Lyla turns on a dim hallway light. "Welcome! This is where we stay. Nothing fancy but it's very close to work," Lyla jokes. Buck was enamored by Lyla's demeanor and he was getting excited like a damn dog, almost panting for a treat he knew he was about to receive. I was his treat. Lyla enters a room to the right and turns on another dim, but this time, red lamp, assigning me and Buck to that room. Lyla smirks and looks back at us as she escorts Jordan in front of her to take him somewhere else. Jordan looks back and I feel terrible we couldn't turn back now. "Don't worry, Doll," she says, "You'll have him back in no time."
I stood in the hallway with my neck down and my shoulders up with guilt and anxiety. Suddenly, Buck excitedly says to Lyla, "be where I can see you!" They both smile at one another. My heart sank. Not only was it mine, and probably Jordan's as well, worst nightmare to do something like this, but now we'd have to witness each other's act played out. "Now you're mine," he whispers to me and hoists my body up in his arms and clutches one of his hands on my vagina to hold me up. He shouts one last time to Lyla who was already in the living room at the edge of the hall, "take it slow and warm him up real good before I see him FUCK you!" My ears burn with fury, but I held my composure. I thought I'd have some power in this, but I was powerless.
He notices that I keep glancing towards the living room and advises, "She'll let me know when it's time. It's our alone time now." He strips off my clothing one by one. First, my coat then by blouse. He caresses ever so gently his fingers against my skin as he slips my garments off. He kisses my shoulders and my neck. I was stiff as a board. It felt so wrong on so many levels, but I couldn't help to know how pleasant it felt. I imagine he was not real to get through this ordeal. After I was stripped bare, he lays me down gently, and he follows on top. He was still dressed. I couldn't help but desperately look out to the living room, but Buck was quite large and obscured my view every so often. I still saw nothing. But I did hear some commotion from the other room that I couldn't make out exactly. But I knew it was Jordan and I just prayed he was okay. I felt Buck's scratchy beard on my cheek, he keeps kissing my neck. He shot up and undid his belt and his pants drop. He was now only in his tank and boxer shorts. This was it, I said to myself. He jumps on me, more aroused than before. He asks me to hold his penis. It was throbbing. He was dry humping me as I held his penis so he'd get off manually. As he was sliding up and down my body, he looks into my eyes. He stops abruptly with what he was doing. Uh oh, he saw the fear in my eyes. He quickly hops off the bed and puts his pants back on. As he was doing so he asks sternly, "You've never done this before, have you?"
I sat silent.
"Come on, spit it out." He calms down and sat at the edge of the bed and gestures me to sit at the edge of the bed with him, so I did, bringing the sheets with me to cover me up. He passes me my bra to put back on. He sighs, "So, what's the deal?"
I cracked. "We need the money, badly. We need to eat."
"I thought you've done this before?" He asked. I shook my head slowly confirming a no. "We are paying you like you know what you're doing, so I technically can take what I want . . . and I easily can." There was a pause. I got a knot in my throat. I palmed both my knees. Then Buck says, "but I won't." A sigh of relief came over me. He asks me how everything came to be and I told him. He began to feel sorry for mine and Jordan's situation. He also listened to me how all this sex trade made me feel, saw my point-of-view and began to feel bad about it because it was some insight on something he never thought about. I start to connect with Buck and realize that he has some compassion, and he showed me that compassion by reading my eyes rather than ignoring it to get his rocks off. "You need money . . . I need sex. In some way we are both addicts, in other ways we are both desperate for it," Buck concludes. He made sense. He was right. We sat and talked for awhile, my stiff shoulders relaxed and my fear-filled face was now with smiles of understanding.
Soon though, in the distance we hear Lyla grunt out a call of arousal, "are you ready, Babycakes?"
Buck looks at me, nods and says to me, "I'll take care of this, don't you worry. You two shouldn't be doing this." He calls back to Lyla, "um, sweetie, I don't think I want to do it this way this time."
She comes in view with Jordan. I scurry to focus on them. They couldn't see us down the hall into the room, but we could see them.
"What!? This was your idea!" She yells across to Buck.
"They don't want this and I don't want this for them," Buck says trying to reason with her. "They are not who you think they are."
"I know they're not," Lyla yelps back. "I made this little pup squeak. He couldn't hold it in any longer when I told him I was going to hurt his darling young girlfriend if he didn't tell me. I knew something was up and, you know what? I kind of like it." She pulls Jordan's naked body behind her naked body, maneuvering him with cloth she has tied around his wrist and just enough lead for her to pull on it like he was her puppet and she was his puppet master. "Now that I know he doesn't really want to do this, makes me really want to do it more."
"Lyla, please don't do it," Buck again pleads with her. "They only want food. We can share food."
But Lyla didn't listen. Her mind was set. I look at Jordan and he looks exhausted, like he was beaten to think he was no more than Lyla's slave. He was spacey and had no life in him. He was so drained that he rested his head on her back as they stood there in a doggy-style position. It felt like all I could do is watch.
She rubs her ass against Jordan. Lyla shouts to me, "Hey! If he didn't want this, his dick wouldn't be so hard!" And she showed it to me. She did get me thinking. Why would he be hard unless he likes it a little? But, I also know just because a body part is aroused doesn't mean mentally one wants to have sex. I also hoped perhaps Jordan in someway had strength left in him to push himself to get a hard-on to get this madness over with. "Stick it in. Stick it in me!" Lyla kept repeating to Jordan. But when that didn't work, she grabs both of the cloths on his arms with one hand, and with the other hand reaches under her and guides his penis inside of her. She let out a moan as he enters, almost like she was throwing it in my face. He thrusts hard into her. I see the muscles in his buttocks going to work, and I become strangely aroused in the moment thinking about our love making and became a little jealous. He thrusts again deep inside of her with hatred and disgust that he started to huff. "See? This is how it should be done," Lyla chuckles and moans with hurtful pleasure in between. "Get 'em mad and they fuck you like a wild animal - good and hard!"
I see Jordan lift his eyes up to me. I know he couldn't see me in the dark room, but he wanted me to see him try. I knew that face, it was like a 'sorry' to me because he was about to cum. Lyla felt that he was about to as well and reminded him that the transaction is not made unless he empties out into her. His huffing turns soft and his lips were still. He thrusts one last time and let out an awe of relief and came inside the old hag. She doubles over in pleasure and pushes him away from her. He falls exhausted to the floor and I run out to be by his side.
"Well young lady, " Lyla concludes, "He doesn't last long, but at least he has a few squirts in him. I got him to cum about five times before we came out here and that was only foreplay. He must have liked something I was doing." She was trying to rub it in my face as if I was not adequate enough for Jordan.
We got the money and left. We didn't talk about that night at all to each other. It was best left unsaid, even though apart of me wishes to understand how he could have been so aroused. We stop at a gas station and pick up lottery tickets and some food. The day after we end up winning the lottery and looked for a house in a safe neighborhood. It goes to show you when one door closes, another one opens. When life challenges you, some good will come from it.
Read Sex Slave - Part II to read the continuation of the dream with a slight twist.
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