Mudslide

I was at school, either at a high school or college campus, as a teacher’s assistant or something.  I was walking out of an end of the day class and saw these four girls hip-hop dancing just outside the gym.  It must be a club because their shirts all had a name for the school they attend.  I stop dead in my tracks and start dancing – crunk, get low, booty shake, you know, all the old school hip-hop moves.  I couldn’t help myself.  It felt good to let loose like a young adult again, even though I felt a little off balance due to my age.  The girls look at me like I was crazy.
 

“Don’t worry, I’m a little rusty at my age,” I assure them.

The girls laugh at me.  “At your age?  What are you, like twelve,” one black girl sarcastically asks?

“Nooooo,” I say in a long tone.  “I’m 32.”  But what I really wanted to say is ‘you snarky bitches, respect your elders.’

The girls just giggle and say “okay” walking away gesturing with their hands not to bother as they go into the gym.

Jordan Supon, my fiancé, picks me up in his truck just outside in the parking lot.  We head down the road and get to an intersection and take a right turn.  Without warning we see a mass flood just off to the right side of the road.  But somehow after screaming and pleading to go around it so we do not get swept up into it, Jordan didn’t do it and the wind gust pushes us right into it.  It was like a ride, but a life-threatening thrill ride on the muddy water.  It looks as though it was a mudslide that became so large because of the rainfall that it turned into a running river on the streets.  Jordan was steering the car like he had control – maybe a way to cope from the loss of control.  We almost hit a tree – steer left.  Then another tree – steer right, and it goes on and on for miles.  We are going fast.  I almost took a last ditch effort to jump into the running water to not suffer hitting a tree or get stuck in the vehicle under water, or worse with broken glass shattered throughout my body.  But I notice there are a lot of debris in the water too, rushing fast enough to impale a wet cold body floating in the water.  I decide to opt out of that plan and just continue on the ride for the inevitable – whatever that may be.

The river starts slowing down and we come to the end uninjured.  So much debris is piled up where it reached dry land.  The vehicle lands at what looks like a city hall.  I walk up the outside steps rather breathless.  I don’t know where Jordan disappeared to, but I continue on my walk further away from the stopping point.  I stop just outside in the shade by the pillars of the city hall to pull out my cell phone to call Jordan.  I see a man a few feet away that looks familiar sitting behind a foldout table outside.  It was Tod Mowery.  Exhausted, I approach him.  He was chipper than ever, which is his usual.  It almost looks as if he has no idea what was going on.

“Hi,” I say and pause for a quick breath.  “Do you know what’s going on?”

“I do,” he smiles!  “I was caught up in the fury waters and trapped in my car on my way here.”

“You were caught in it?  Me and Jordan, too!  That’s how I got here.”  I feel comforted knowing someone else had this happen right alongside of me.

“Yeah, thank God it dumped me off where I needed to be,” Tod says.  He is so positive and sees reasoning in everything.   I can’t believe he is actually working.  Nothing shakes that man!

“Do you need anything,” I ask?  Even though I really didn’t have much energy to do anything, so I was hoping if he needed something it wouldn’t make me walk far.

“I can really use a massage.  I kind of got beat up along the way and I’m very sore.”

“No problem,” I reply.  I was happy to do something like that.  Only my hands had to do the moving.  Plus I get to touch him in my dream, when any other time it would be inappropriate.  “Lay down onto the table on your left side”, I told him.  He takes off his shirt and lays on his left side facing away from me.

I start massaging him in a way I never would in waking life.  I was grabbing and pulling, like I was milking a cow or something, haha!  He acted like he liked it and told me I got the kinks out.

Sex Slaves - Part I

 **Before I begin telling you about my dream, I'm going to first start off by letting you know right now this is a long and complex dream, but is well worth the dramatic read.  Furthermore, the material may not be suitable for children and some adults.  There is sexual content, sexual intentions, sexual trade activity and language.  Read at your own discretion.**

Do you ever have a dream that you awake from and fall back asleep just to dream it again?  Do you ever have a dream that shares aspects of your life events and wonder if they are repressed memories?  Do you ever think your dreams are so life-like that they foretell present or future events in someone's life?  That's how this dream was to me, and in so many ways it showed me things that I could never fathom.  I don't know if my writing will reflect how my dream truly was, but it was dramatically showcased enough to win an Emmy Award if it was a movie (right here you are suppose to laugh with me), haha!


PART ONE
We were down on our luck, Jordan Supon and I. We were a couple living in impoverish conditions.  But not exactly like the impoverish person that lives on the street or living in a shelter, but a couple who couldn't put food in our mouths and didn't want to get to the point of no return.  We wanted to be proactive and thought of ways to not get to the point of being beggars on the street.  Jordan came to a conclusion after a long list of other ideas that failed us.  An idea that we debated on and argued over for hours.  An idea that we pleaded with God over that is was the only sure-fire way of stabilizing us.  The idea that we despised to do, but was stuck imagining it so we'd get the courage to follow through with it.
"I can't do it!" I shout holding tears back.
"I don't want us to have to do it either," Jordan says.  "Do you think I want someone else to have you?  It will devastate me!  I'm afraid I'll grow angry knowing that and will do something to that poor bastard who didn't know what was coming."
I broke down into tears.  Moments later I collect my composure and say, "do you think I will be okay seeing you with another woman?  This is probably what you want!  Something . . . anything different, even if it is putting us in danger!"
"That is not it whatsoever!  Hun, I love you, and I'm only doing this to help us out," Jordan says sincerely.  "If this is the only thing I wanted, I would have only put myself in danger and never make you apart of this.  But we are apart of each other and we have to do this together whether we want to or not."  Jordan held my arms and looked me dead in the eyes.  His sincerity and the way he looked at me in desperation gave me the nudge I most dreaded - I nodded my head in agreement and he made the call.  We are going to sell our sex for money.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We have now gone to the lowest class that I never knew that we would.  We were not going to be one anymore - it won't matter if it were one or 20 other sex partners, we knew it will mess with our minds and nothing like that will ever be the same between us.  But knowing me, I had to see some light on this decision as a way to cope.  So, I sat there on the living room floor still in a state of shock while Jordan was in the other room on the phone, reminding myself I'm selling sex, but I wasn't a prostitute.  I was not doing this to profit, I was doing this to survive.  And I wasn't like any other drug-addicted whore, I am clean and refined.  This was my licentiousness. 

Jordan and I walk down the street of downtown.  I don't know where we are meeting these people; Jordan kept pretty quiet about that.  I kept my head up high so nobody would see my fear, and heck,  so I wouldn't see it either.  I don't know how Jordan was feeling, but he looked like a man on a mission ready to do business and get it over with.  We begin to come up on a small nail salon and a tall haggard lady is outside filing her long overgrown fake nails.  I took it as her waiting for clients or at least trying to advertise her business outside as people walk by, but in my heart I also knew she must be the one we were coming to see.  I realize right then and there why Jordan asked me to dress classy right along with him, and my fur coat definitely showed it.  We were pretending to be high-dollar call girls (and boys).  Like we knew what we were doing.  Guess putting on a brave face paid off!
"You all want something?  Nails done?  We do male manis and pedis too!"
Jordan said something to her in code to let her know it was us.  We were outside for a few minutes and as they spoke, their words began to fade as I got lost in thought watching this woman.  Blue nails, ugly stained teeth, raggedy old skin, older looking than her age.  I watched her smack her gum like her shit doesn't stink.  I said to myself I wasn't as bad as her - thank God!  All I could imagine after looking at her physical features, is wondering what can't be seen, like the diseases she might carry knowing she will be having sex with my fiance!  I grew hatred for this woman I didn't even know, and I even began to feel my face tighten up in front of them.  She noticed.  "You okay, Doll?"
"Yeah, just peachy," I say sarcastically, and continue.  "So, if we give you these services, would you throw in some free nails for me?"  I had nothing to lose.  Plus, I don't ever get a chance to do my nails because I didn't have the money.  I was also thinking like a business person.  If I get in with her enough, become better acquainted, maybe I can draw up other people who would gladly do this shit with her and whomever else she's got, and leave me and Jordan out of it, one of these days.
"Sure, Doll," she replies to me, then looks at Jordan.  "Right this way you two."  She brought us in past the salon area to what appeared to be a break room with a table and a couple of lounge chairs.  She walks back outside and lights up a cigarette.  I could tell she was a bit skittish about anyone seeing this transaction go down.  Also, from the looks of it, she was waiting for her husband or lover (who knows what he was to her!) to get there since I didn't see anyone else there besides the three of us.  It was quite awhile before he showed and I was growing restless.  I was here to do a job and if people won't be on time, then they are disrespecting my time and my services.  I started to walk up to the lady to ask when this guy was going to get here, but halfway to her she perks up outside as someone came her way.  It was HIM.  The man I was going to have sex with.  The bastard who will violate me anyway he wants to since he's paying me in exchange.  I felt like I was about to lose my virginity all over again . . . nervous, afraid, and yet inviting.
Jordan comes out from the back slowly, as if walking out slow will stop time somehow.  As he was walking out I was being introduced.  His name was Buck, or Bo, or something, I don't remember, but let's just call him Buck.  And let's call the lady Lyla so that we can differentiate everybody in the dream.  "Hi, my name is Angela."  Shit!  I use my real name, and how can I be so casual about this?  How does someone act in this type of a situation?  Be cool, I tell myself.  Buck looks like he just crawled off the couch after drinking a 6-pack.  He has a stained white tank top on, blue jeans and a belt that seemed to be holding up his beer gut rather than his pants.  He was grey-haired and a bit scruffy on his face.  His eyes were blue and they appear to show a more sensitive side to him than his exterior does.  (In real life I don't know who Buck or Lyla are).
Lyla eagerly says, "Follow me everyone, " and we follow her to the back.  She shuts the salon down, turns off the lights, we enter the break room . . . pass the break room after another door.  We were going further back.  How far back does this salon go, I ask myself?  By this point, Jordan and I were so caught up thinking what we were going to do next, that we didn't speak much after this.  We were also mysteriously allured by the unknown.  Lyla turns on a dim hallway light.  "Welcome!  This is where we stay.  Nothing fancy but it's very close to work," Lyla jokes.  Buck was enamored by Lyla's demeanor and he was getting excited like a damn dog, almost panting for a treat he knew he was about to receive.  I was his treat.  Lyla enters a room to the right and turns on another dim, but this time, red lamp, assigning me and Buck to that room.  Lyla smirks and looks back at us as she escorts Jordan in front of her to take him somewhere else.  Jordan looks back and I feel terrible we couldn't turn back now.  "Don't worry, Doll," she says, "You'll have him back in no time."
I stood in the hallway with my neck down and my shoulders up with guilt and anxiety.  Suddenly, Buck excitedly says to Lyla, "be where I can see you!"  They both smile at one another.  My heart sank.  Not only was it mine, and probably Jordan's as well, worst nightmare to do something like this, but now we'd have to witness each other's act played out.  "Now you're mine," he whispers to me and hoists my body up in his arms and clutches one of his hands on my vagina to hold me up.  He shouts one last time to Lyla who was already in the living room at the edge of the hall, "take it slow and warm him up real good before I see him FUCK you!"  My ears burn with fury, but I held my composure.  I thought I'd have some power in this, but I was powerless.

He carries me into the room.  The bed is against the door side wall - a good position just to see out enough to watch his whore fuck my love.  He threw me down on to the bed.  He told me all he wants to do is enjoy touching my body for awhile.  This nightmare is being drawn out when I planned for it to be quicker than how it's going.  First he was late, and now he wants to go slow?  I kept glancing out of the doorway from the bed but I saw nothing.  I tried to stay focused on Buck, but it was really hard.  Buck wasn't at the least concerned to look with me, even though he said he wanted to watch Lyla.
He notices that I keep glancing towards the living room and advises, "She'll let me know when it's time.  It's our alone time now."  He strips off my clothing one by one.  First, my coat then by blouse.  He caresses ever so gently his fingers against my skin as he slips my garments off.  He kisses my shoulders and my neck.  I was stiff as a board.  It felt so wrong on so many levels, but I couldn't help to know how pleasant it felt.  I imagine he was not real to get through this ordeal.  After I was stripped bare, he lays me down gently, and he follows on top.  He was still dressed.  I couldn't help but desperately look out to the living room, but Buck was quite large and obscured my view every so often.  I still saw nothing.  But I did hear some commotion from the other room that I couldn't make out exactly.  But I knew it was Jordan and I just prayed he was okay.  I felt Buck's scratchy beard on my cheek, he keeps kissing my neck.  He shot up and undid his belt and his pants drop.  He was now only in his tank and boxer shorts.  This was it, I said to myself.  He jumps on me, more aroused than before.  He asks me to hold his penis.  It was throbbing.  He was dry humping me as I held his penis so he'd get off manually.  As he was sliding up and down my body, he looks into my eyes.  He stops abruptly with what he was doing.  Uh oh, he saw the fear in my eyes.  He quickly hops off the bed and puts his pants back on.  As he was doing so he asks sternly, "You've never done this before, have you?"
I sat silent.
"Come on, spit it out."  He calms down and sat at the edge of the bed and gestures me to sit at the edge of the bed with him, so I did, bringing the sheets with me to cover me up.  He passes me my bra to put back on.  He sighs, "So, what's the deal?"
I cracked.  "We need the money, badly.  We need to eat."
"I thought you've done this before?" He asked.  I shook my head slowly confirming a no.  "We are paying you like you know what you're doing, so I technically can take what I want . . . and I easily can."  There was a pause.  I got a knot in my throat.  I palmed both my knees.  Then Buck says, "but I won't."  A sigh of relief came over me.  He asks me how everything came to be and I told him.  He began to feel sorry for mine and Jordan's situation.  He also listened to me how all this sex trade made me feel, saw my point-of-view and began to feel bad about it because it was some insight on something he never thought about.  I start to connect with Buck and realize that he has some compassion, and he showed me that compassion by reading my eyes rather than ignoring it to get his rocks off.  "You need money . . . I need sex.  In some way we are both addicts, in other ways we are both desperate for it," Buck concludes.  He made sense.  He was right.  We sat and talked for awhile, my stiff shoulders relaxed and my fear-filled face was now with smiles of understanding.
Soon though, in the distance we hear Lyla grunt out a call of arousal, "are you ready, Babycakes?"
Buck looks at me, nods and says to me, "I'll take care of this, don't you worry.  You two shouldn't be doing this."  He calls back to Lyla, "um, sweetie, I don't think I want to do it this way this time."
She comes in view with Jordan.  I scurry to focus on them.  They couldn't see us down the hall into the room, but we could see them.
"What!?  This was your idea!" She yells across to Buck.
"They don't want this and I don't want this for them," Buck says trying to reason with her.  "They are not who you think they are."
"I know they're not," Lyla yelps back.  "I made this little pup squeak.  He couldn't hold it in any longer when I told him I was going to hurt his darling young girlfriend if he didn't tell me.  I knew something was up and, you know what?  I kind of like it."  She pulls Jordan's naked body behind her naked body, maneuvering him with cloth she has tied around his wrist and just enough lead for her to pull on it like he was her puppet and she was his puppet master.  "Now that I know he doesn't really want to do this, makes me really want to do it more."
"Lyla, please don't do it," Buck again pleads with her.  "They only want food.  We can share food."
But Lyla didn't listen.  Her mind was set.  I look at Jordan and he looks exhausted, like he was beaten to think he was no more than Lyla's slave.  He was spacey and had no life in him.  He was so drained that he rested his head on her back as they stood there in a doggy-style position.  It felt like all I could do is watch.
She rubs her ass against Jordan.  Lyla shouts to me, "Hey!  If he didn't want this, his dick wouldn't be so hard!"  And she showed it to me.  She did get me thinking.  Why would he be hard unless he likes it a little?  But, I also know just because a body part is aroused doesn't mean mentally one wants to have sex.  I also hoped perhaps Jordan in someway had strength left in him to push himself to get a hard-on to get this madness over with.  "Stick it in.  Stick it in me!"  Lyla kept repeating to Jordan.  But when that didn't work, she grabs both of the cloths on his arms with one hand, and with the other hand reaches under her and guides his penis inside of her.  She let out a moan as he enters, almost like she was throwing it in my face.  He thrusts hard into her.  I see the muscles in his buttocks going to work, and I become strangely aroused in the moment thinking about our love making and became a little jealous.  He thrusts again deep inside of her with hatred and disgust that he started to huff.  "See?  This is how it should be done," Lyla chuckles and moans with hurtful pleasure in between.  "Get 'em mad and they fuck you like a wild animal - good and hard!"
I see Jordan lift his eyes up to me.  I know he couldn't see me in the dark room, but he wanted me to see him try.  I knew that face, it was like a 'sorry' to me because he was about to cum.  Lyla felt that he was about to as well and reminded him that the transaction is not made unless he empties out into her.  His huffing turns soft and his lips were still.  He thrusts one last time and let out an awe of relief and came inside the old hag. She doubles over in pleasure and pushes him away from her.  He falls exhausted to the floor and I run out to be by his side.
"Well young lady, " Lyla concludes, "He doesn't last long, but at least he has a few squirts in him.  I got him to cum about five times before we came out here and that was only foreplay.  He must have liked something I was doing."  She was trying to rub it in my face as if I was not adequate enough for Jordan.
We got the money and left.  We didn't talk about that night at all to each other.  It was best left unsaid, even though apart of me wishes to understand how he could have been so aroused.  We stop at a gas station and pick up lottery tickets and some food.  The day after we end up winning the lottery and looked for a house in a safe neighborhood.  It goes to show you when one door closes, another one opens.  When life challenges you, some good will come from it.

Read Sex Slave - Part II to read the continuation of the dream with a slight twist.   

Sex Slaves - Part II

Sex Slaves - Part II

 I woke up briefly from the last dream, but went back into another dream quite similar.  Jordan Supon and I are a couple, although he didn't appear in this dream.  Laura Hubbard, one my best friends, is in the dream with me instead.  We are roommates, and just like my last dream, we were living in a small dumpy apartment.  It was considered in the upper side of the crackhead neighborhood.  It was all that we could afford.  Somehow, I was involved in the sex trade industry.  (I must be watching too much MSNBC on this!).  It's not like the normal sex trade where guy or girl purchases a delicate newly blossomed flower, or at the least one that is not wilted.  It's where one sex trade company exchanges with another sex trade company, and their ripe "soldiers" are technically forced to have sexual encounters with each other.  The idea is to insult the community, leave a mark that these companies were all powerful, and use these sex slaves as a game of profit and respect.  Each member had to perform to their best and get judged by the opposite company, merely by what each sex slave says about the other.  It could be your life if you didn't perform well.  I don't know why I was involved, but I can only assume it was because of my earlier dream.  I remember not wanting to be involved, and feeling disgusted for it - but I was still a complete novice, and was at this point too hungry for money to care.
While Laura and I were at home, Laura doing her toenails on the couch and I was in the bathroom getting ready for something, a big man barges into our apartment startling the both of us.  "You are up.  Let's go," the man calls out.  He must be one of the guards or summoners for the company.
"What is this?"  Laura demands.
I didn't even get out of the bathroom before I heard shuffling around. The guard grabs her unknowingly that she wasn't me.  "You're coming with me.  Don't you try and fight this . . . you all do and never win."
"Wait!"  I shout across the room as I see Laura dragging her feet unwilling to leave the house.  "I'm the one being summoned, not her."
"Summoned?  What are you talking about?" Laura asks inquisitively.  I gesture to her to be quiet.  She has a heart of a lion and I love her for it, but this was not the time to be tough.
"I don't know what game you girls are playing," the guy says, "but now you both are coming with me.  I don't know who I need and I'm not bringing the wrong person because one of you wanted to help out a poor friend.  You're both coming!"  With a swift move this guy was able to hold us both in each one of his arms.  Laura was kicking and screaming.  Of course I didn't want to go, but I knew what I was up against and the possible consequences that I didn't even put up a fight.  It was like they broke me because I knew that wasn't normally my attitude toward things.
Next thing I knew we were at this house.  It was a quaint Mediterranean-style house with a a tropical garden to relax in.  A lady enters with cigarette in hand.  It was none other than Lyla (from my previous dream!).  The woman I was both envious over because of her being highly respected in our community, and despised because she was very good at manipulating almost anyone to do things they normally wouldn't.  "Got two for the price of one?  Nice."  She looks Laura up and down sizing her up.  "I'm sure we can break her in and find someone for her."
"Fuck you!"  Laura yelps, the guard holds her back by her arms from getting at Lyla.  The guard chuckles with admiration for Laura's gumption.
Lyla chuckles back, but for her own disturbed reasons.  "Ah, we have a wild one.  I know just the right person for you."  There was a pause, and then she says, "Wildcat."  The nickname she gave Laura.  Laura takes a large swallow, nervous what Lyla meant, but kept her head high.  Lyla walks out of the room, soon followed by the guard after he locks the door for no escape.
Laura and I stand in the middle of the room, bodies hunched over like inferior children who are awaiting to be told what to do next.  "What's going on, Angela?  Am I . . . are you . . . are you a prosti--", Laura asks, but doesn't finish her sentence before I abruptly answer with a 'no'.  But she doesn't let up.  "Because of you I'm going to be raped, ain't I?"  I couldn't answer her.  Laura's bottom lip quivers.  I felt ashamed.
Minutes pass and we both were now seated on a love seat together looking out the window.  I was daydreaming thinking how could I be doing this again and awaiting the inevitable.  I assumed Laura was thinking how much she hates me for indirectly putting her in this situation.
Laura broke the silence.  "I can do this!"  Wiping away tears.  "I can.  I can do this.  It's like anybody else, right?"
I could only stare at her as if it was okay for her to imagine it that way . . . whatever makes her more comfortable.  I certainly understood.  Laura, in my dream, had a reputation for being promiscuous, so she wanted to imagine it's like any other time she was having casual sex and not feel as used as this night will prove.  Her coping mechanism is the same as mine.  I could sympathize how she felt in that moment as I remembered how I had to use that same coping skill the very first time I needed to, and it's quite scary not knowing whether it will work or not, and if so, how long will she be able to cope?
It starts to become dusk out before we were graced by Lyla's appearance again.  "You, in that room, " Lyla tells Laura and points to the room at the end of the short hallway.  Laura walks hesitantly towards that room.  I watch her walk towards that room.  I'm feeling terrible about it, and just once I want her to see my face so she'd know.  But she never looks back.  "You're guy will be in there in a minute."  Lyla looks at me now.  "Welcome back, " smiling with a small lip curl and a tooth showing.  "You're man is already in your room.  This is your room."  She gestures her arm to the first room to the right.
I enter the room.  I'm only partly in.  Door still open.  Hall light shines through the room.  Darkness.  All I could see were silhouettes of shapes, and some of the corners of the walls.  Laura had the bigger room, which was next to mine.  The only reason I knew this was when we were coming up to the house I saw the sliding glass door from that room, which leads to the garden - and only large rooms have that!  Mine was small in comparison when I could see the walls under the dark shadows.

All I could think is this man is in here somewhere as my heart races with fear and, paradoxically, with excitement.  All I could think of is that Laura has no idea that the person that she's going to have sex with is going to do whatever he can to win this game of sex, and likely in the most ruthless way.
These guys in the trade were bred to do such, otherwise they were considered worthless and put to death.  The women on the other hand were treated fairer because they wanted the women to be delicate and sensual by nature, and overall be rated by their counterpart as such, as well as rated for how good they felt from within.  If a women didn't get rated well, they didn't get paid, and likely wouldn't be chosen much at all to participate, furthering her to poorer conditions.  Laura knew none of this!  She just thought it was sex to please a man, maybe put on a little show for him and be done.  Oh, now how I wish I could explain to her that it wasn't so, but she was gone behind close doors and walls.
I turn my head back and saw Lyla slowly closing my room door.  For a brief second I saw a man walking past Lyla towards the room Laura is in.  That's got to be him!  And boy, did he look like an old brute!  It looks like he came straight from the Viking Ages, old but ready to fight, or so it seems.  Lyla shuts the door.
The window in front of me was boarded up.  I can see a little moonlight shine through the few open spaces, but that's it.  I don't say anything.  I didn't want to grab attention to myself.  But I knew eventually him and I would have to feel around the room for something to lean against for comfort, and it might be each other.
I'm facing to the left side of the room when I feel an arm grace my right side waist.  Nothing said.  He then intentionally graces the left side of my waist with his other arm, firmly grabbing his hand across my backside to bring me closer to him.  This is it!  It's about to happen.  I have to expect the worst, as I should!
I put my hands out to know the body of my evening suitor.  My hands straight out in front me lay flat against his abdomen - he was taller than me and shirtless!  I knew he had pants on and wasn't completely naked because on my way to lifting up my hands to feel for him, one of my hands hit his belt buckle.  From just the touch of his abdomen I could tell he was generally fit.  He lowers his head down to the crease of my neck and starts to breathe gently inches away from my skin.  It gave me a surprising rush and goosebumps raised all over my body.  He lifts his left hand to my neck and with one passionate move of his finger, my shirt strap lies dangling down my arm - he begins to kiss my neck softly and slowly.  This is not what I was expecting at all!  Wasn't he suppose to ravage me, or else?
It was hard for me to admit since I have a fiance, but it felt really good to feel this man's touch.  Perhaps it was because it's been a long time that my body was explored like that, or perhaps it is the taboo nature of the unknown thrill, or maybe because since most senses are limited in the dark, my other ones were heightened.
I maneuvered my hands upward against his chest and then down his arms.  I hear a low groan escape his mouth as he lifts his head away from my neck.  My hands were pulsating with heated pleasure.  I felt excitement between my legs that I normally wouldn't want to happen in a situation like this, but it was different with this unnamed and no-faced man.  I wasn't feeling pleasure because I was being pleased, but because I was pleasuring a man!  That's got to mean something, I tell myself.
He finds my face with one hand and leans in with a kiss.  His tongue gently caresses mine and the outer parts of my lips.  I suckle on his bottom lip and we mutually separate to ponder in awe.
"Wow," I say out loud.  He reciprocates with a "nice".  I continue as I trace the silhouette outlining his head, "I don't know about you, but I hope it's the same for you, but that felt beyond amazing.  Nothing I've ever felt before!"  My biggest question to myself is if I should follow that feeling.
"It was definitely amazing.  That's got to mean we have some sort of connection," he says.  That's all I had to hear was that it meant something to him, to validate my own thinking as I thought the same.  As soon as I heard him say that, I kissed him again . . . deeper.  He grabs one of my legs and brings it to rest on his hip.  We both stand together, closer physically and emotionally connected.  Now all I could think about over and over again while in the darkness with him is that I hope he is good looking because everything else, like his kisses and hands, were good to me already.
We fumble together a short distance to the foot of the bed.  Kissing each other's faces as if lovers meeting together again after years of separation.  Kissing and fondling each body part because we yearned to feel apart of something good again - sex and love like it's suppose to be.  I felt around for his belt and undid it.  He pulls it quickly from the loops of his pants, and I start to unbutton them.  I didn't get far before he stops me by grabbing me close again.  He squeezes my ass and pulls my pelvis against his.  I wrap my arms around his neck and we both simultaneously did what was innate to us - he lifts me up by my ass and I help by jumping up to wrap my legs around his torso.  His pants drop unprovoked, and this excites him further as I feel his penis against one of my butt cheeks.
Things were heating up and we continue to huff and puff quietly between kisses.  Suddenly a light knock on the door, and it was Lyla.  "I don't hear anything in there.  You know you can't leave until I do."  At this point I didn't want to leave.  I'll stay as quiet as I have to to enjoy this moment that will soon pass me by and may never get back.  It was the best thing in a long time.  We giggle softly, child-like, at Lyla's comment because she didn't know that I was actually with a man who wanted to take his time, care for my well-being and didn't follow their rules.

I feel him slip one of his hands further under my skirt and his finger reaches my clitoris.  He lightly rubs, but not to excite me too much.  We fall over together side-by-side on the bed.  I was feeling wild and free.  So free, I didn't have much to lose for what I was going to say next to him.  "I need to see your face!  Who is this man that makes me feel so good?"  I couldn't see, but I know he smirked.
I scoot up to the head of the bed and he's over me reaching toward the boarded up window.  He grabs a board, holds tight and grunts as he pulls.  One frees, and light by the moon casts a blue-white hue inside the room.  Just enough, like a candlelight from across the room.  He gets down from the window and crawls back down onto me.  Impatient I was waiting for him to look at me.  I see him blink and he turns to look down at me.  His eyes were beautiful!  He was beautiful!  I was no prize in comparison to him.  Now I see in that dim light what I needed to see, and it all matched up perfectly!  I was on cloud nine.  "Oh my God, you are so gorgeous," I tell him.  It had to make his day.  He smiles large - his plump lips I couldn't stop staring at knowing I was just kissing them.  We look at one another in the eyes and we just knew we had a spark there.
"It's so weird but so cool at the same time that we had to meet this way, don't know each other, and already have this strong connection," he says eyes wide open.
"Yeah", I agree.  But then reality hit that I have a fiance, and worse, that we are going to be judged by our performance from our bosses.  "We can't . . . well, you can't do it this way.  They want to hear you hurt me."  My face grows long.  He rubs my face in comfort.
"I won't do that to you.  I can't.  I don't care what they say.  We can always pretend until they think otherwise."  This Chris Hemsworth (think the movie Thor) or Alexander Skarsgard (HBOs show True Blood) lookalike was right.  How would they know?

Alexander Skarsgard

Chris Hemsworth

"Well, let's do this thing!  Definitely not going to say no to you," I chuckle and pull off my skirt and underwear with one good tug.
He lifts up my tank to massage one of my breasts while kissing the other one, gently nibbling on my nipple arousing it higher.  He pulls his boxer briefs down and off and rests his body atop of mine again.  Our breathing becomes heavy with excitement ready to enjoy the moment.  I pray it will be enjoyable rather than a job, to which I was use to in this business.  I feel his cock against my pubic bone.  It throbs up and down and feels real nice.  I just want him inside me.  He thrives on the anticipation.  He rocks his hips back and forth, his cock first massaging my pubic bone, then further down against my clit, then between my vagina lips where it rests.
"Oh yes!"  I quiver.  I feel my wetness engulf his penis, and I hear the wetness smack every time he moves against my lady lips.  I cling onto his shoulders guiding myself closer to his manhood.  With impeccable timing, I lift my bottom up for him, and he rocks just enough for his cock to plunge inside of me.  The warmth was pleasant.  He strokes his cock inside of me slowly and gently, he doesn't even go deep . . . yet.  Three strokes in and my toes were already beginning to curl.  He was feeling his hair stand on ends like little tiny prickles.  "Are you kidding me," I ask referring to how good it was already feeling.  He laughs.  We couldn't stop looking into each others eyes.  We were locked on.
As I was getting more into it, I hear muffling noises in the next room.  Laura!  My mind was taken away from the pleasure.  "Yes.  Mmm . . . mmm . . . yes, yes yes!  Oh . . . oh . . . uh huh, yeah . . .," Laura was moaning in the next room.  Him and I smile contently knowing everything is okay with my friend in the next room and continue to make love.  Seconds later though, Laura's sounds of pleasure turns into squealing and blood-curdling screams.  We stop dead in our tracks.  I was worried, but what was I to do about it now, I thought?  Sex doesn't always come easily in this type of industry, at least not in the way I was receiving it tonight.  I was being a little selfish at the moment soaking up what I was getting that it was hard to shift away from it, especially after years of waiting for something like that.
I tried to get back into the sex I was having after the screaming had stopped, but the guy I was with wasn't focused on it.  Still with is penis inside me, he asks, "Aren't you wanting to check on your friend?"
"I want to, but we are technically doing the same thing as her and that other dude are.  What does she expect me to do?  As far as she knows I'm going through the same shit and can't help her.  So, please, let's just enjoy this moment."
He gets off of me, puts on his boxer briefs.  He is not upset, but tells me I ought to console her.  He also says he'll be right there waiting when I get back, but we both know as pawns of the slave world, we are there one minute and not the next, and our words have no guarantees as they are not our own.
I exit the room and go into Laura's.  The lights were on in that room.  The guy who was with her wasn't there.  When the silence came through the walls, that must have been the time that he left.  I didn't see her in the room.  I look out from the sliding glass door and see her in the garden sitting in a low part of a tree, wrapped in a robe facing the other way all curled up.  I walk up to her and she was not budging.  I gave her the time she needed.  Finally, she turns around, relaxes her legs and sips on coffee (apparently it was morning now).  "He fucked me!"  Laura pouts.  "I thought I knew what that meant before now, but I didn't."  She trembles with fear and anger.  "He fucked me five times!  Five times back to back.  He hurt me five times!" 

She bursts into tears and I knew why.  She cries because I let her down.  I let her down by moving in with her with this dark secret.  I let her down by not fighting for her that she wasn't apart of the sex trade.  I let her down by not telling her sooner what I was apart of.  I let her down by not telling her what to expect out of the sexual encounter and how it was a game.  I let her down that I didn't heed to her scream and thought of my pleasure over that.  Even if she didn't know most of this, I did, and felt guilty for it as she cries lonely on that tree.         

The Lovely Vampire

The dream I had last night was very alluring, passionate, taboo, bizarre and fantasy-based.


I must have just gotten married or something huge because I remember looking down at my ring finger and seeing a vintage round-stone ring.  Not a ring I'd normally be drawn to, but it looks great on my finger.  The place I was at was very different - almost like what you'd see in a movie.  It was dim-lit (obviously indoors), marble-tiled floor, and there was satin white curtains hanging decoratively throughout every few feet on the sides guiding the walking area.  I remember looking to my left down this large pathway of these sheet-like curtains (although the living space was much larger) and saw at the very end a throne.  I walk towards it and meet my beloved.  I think it was Jordan Supon (my boyfriend), or at least in my mind I tried to believe it was him, but the person didn't quite seem like him.  He says now that I'm with him, I'm the most powerful woman around.  He also added, "nothing can stop you."  I knew what he meant - we were rulers and together we have authority over others.  But the dark twist was it was ruling the underworld of vampires.



Jordan was the king of all vampires, but I was only human with no extravagant powers.  Much of the vampires didn't desire that a mortal took the throne and was considered "powerful" when they knew by sheer force they were 10 times stronger than me.  They view it as illogical, and a strategy that undermines their abilities.  But, on the other hand, other vampires careless who was on the throne because they also blended with and communicated with humans, so it was much of anyone's guess that human or vampire would rule when co-existing together.

The dream somehow changed scenery and my motives were rather ruthless and selfish to an extent, but all-in-all for a good cause.  Being married to a hierarchy vampire and wearing his ring did give me some type of power other than just the namely authoritative status.  No vampire knew that I had powers.  I had more energy, therefore giving me the strength to do tasks that I normally couldn't do in a day.  It was something needed to rule over so many and that is what our bond provided to sustain. 

When I got to this place that was an outside shopping area with a courtyard (that in real life was my old high school), I realize that many vampires were plotting against me.  I don't know how I knew, maybe by reading their minds or simply just the way they glared at me as they passed me by.  I had to think of something fast to protect myself.  I knew things no other vampire knew, except Jordan and another well-loved and admired vampire by the name of Eric Northman (the same character in an HBO vampire series called "True Blood").  Eric is the bachelor vampire that every vampress wanted and vied for his attention anyway and anywhere they could.  Even though I was married I wanted his attention too, but not for the same reason as everybody else.  My reason was to get power from him.

Many vampires and humans alike were in the square.  In the crowd you couldn't tell vampire among humans were vampires . . . this is how we co-existed, it just made it easier to pretend everyone was alike.  The only way you can tell a vampire is truly a vampire is either when they are angry because they display it like a wild cat or when you are extremely close to them and you're drawn (sometimes) unintentionally by their tantalizing magnetism.  Anyway, I see Eric in front of me just a few yards away with a few ladies hanging around, and one interracial black and white woman as his "main squeeze".  He's chatting all of them up, and as he was, he gave me a side glance for my approach.  As he did, the ladies slowly turn their heads and give me the stare of treachery; their faces frowning in utter jealousy.  Eric's main squeeze acting similar, she bares her fangs to warn me she possesses him.  Funny what women would think as another woman approaches, even if it's not my intent to steal him away.  But if they want it, they shall have it!  I close in on Eric, the four women vampress surround us - three of the pons sitting, and his partner standing nearby.  Eric knew why I was there, but the egomaniac inside him wants to make sure not to give up what I want from him so easily, and he was going to make damn sure he's going to enjoy what he can before he does. 

I didn't care at whatever cost - my eyes were on the goal of why I was there, and that goal will better protect me - vampires didn't like me much anyway, so I didn't care what they'd think of my actions - and right now I'd really like to straighten out those bitches for thinking I wanted their man when I didn't and now they'll get what they were thinking.  Eric pushes his main squeeze away as I leaned in, like she was nothing to him . . . basically how he is with anyone, so I didn't really understand why people liked him.  She was trying to hold her composure so the people in the square wouldn't notice they are among vampires.  She muttered something obviously upset and Eric lifts up his hand and closed his index and middle finger with the thumb gesturing her to shut up.  He gives his attention back to me, lifts up my chin and gives me a steamy side smile that he does so well in "True Blood".  He says softly, "are you ready?"  I respond with a nod.

Eric starts passionately kissing me, slowly where I can feel every inch of his tongue inside my mouth.  I loosen up, let go of my inhibitions and human morality of being married so I can get through this moment because technically it isn't cheating when Jordan knew how this would go.  I slip my tongue back into his mouth and now that we are in sync, the kiss becomes deeper, heavier and stronger.  Our bodies connect as if we've known each other intimately before.  I feel him use his spellbound charm on me, but I didn't mind, it was actually quite nice that all my senses were heightened more than I could ever imagine as a human being, or even being with another human.  He lifts one of my legs up and holds me close clutching my back as my leg rests on his inner arm.

I see his main squeeze starting to get emotionally out of control and she jumps up on a cement seat on all fours, cocks her body back like a pissed off cat, her afro I notice, and her eyes were glowing fierce.  Her fangs sinking into her bottom lip making it bleed.  I hear screaming people around leaving the area.  Just what I wanted!  I wanted the world of vampires to see that I do contain power and not to test me.  Eric tries to calm her down to tell her why I was there and that he had to do what he had to do, but she wouldn't listen and lunged at me.  I was quick and was able to jump sideways on the wall to land behind her, and had enough power to do some defensive karate moves.  She takes off with the other vampresses, and just as she was leaving she says she'll come looking for me again and it won't be pretty - she left at a high rate of speed, like the gift that most vampires have.

I turn back to Eric, "we need to finish this and finish it now!"  We run up to each other, he helps pick me up to wrap my legs around him.  My heart racing with desire shared with the unknown to come.  It was dangerous, yet a necessity.  It is a fiery connection, that also played on my mind.  Eric wants me like no other, so it was an even trade.  His excitement not only erected his penis, but extracted his long fangs.  We are still kissing and I feel his fangs as I stick my tongue in his mouth between them.  This will only work if he's excited, with all his will intact . . . almost there.  Our bodies in motion, no sex involved.  We are turning slightly off the ground, our minds now controlling our actions.  He gives me one last look, bends me back like we finished dancing.  Leans in ever so softly . . . stops . . . then aggressively bites into my neck.  Like an aggressive man inserting his cock inside me to give me full pleasure, his mouth so succulent against my slippery bloody skin.  I was aroused.  I was not afraid to become this creature in the night - I lived it when I wasn't it.  My thoughts of my past consumes my mind and crosses with what I could see in the future.  This must be what comes with switching over from human to vampire.  My senses becoming wildly heightened and almost too sensitive.  He unlatches from my neck, I'm no longer human, but not completely morphed.  Eric saves some of my blood in his mouth.  "This will complete the process," I rave.  I go in for a kiss and take a gulp of my blood as a half-bred vamp.  This was necessary for me to become a hybrid - not only one of the most powerful, but with my rank and Jordan's ring, I am now truly the most powerful.  I was priding myself in it, but remembered why it was important to become this, and that is to protect myself - I had to turn.  Eric's blood was thousands of years old and was made from one of the original vampires, so with what I had in my bond with Jordan and combine it with Eric's kiss and swallowing my human blood as I was already turning makes a hybrid concoction, not easily come by to just any vampire. 

I don't say anything to Eric, but I nod to say thank you and raced to hide what I am, and will detain it unless provoked by someone whom wants to kill me.  I go to a video store to go about my day, but I sense a few vampires approaching that have detected my scent and they wanted me dead.  I hide behind a window curtain like a coward.  I have new found gifts I have yet to recognize or know how to use.  The vampires barge into the store.  There was popcorn being served and movies playing in parts of the room.  There was at least a dozen vampires both male and female alike.  Some asked people if they've seen me - nobody has.  A couple men from that group passed the curtain and was dumbfounded that they couldn't locate me and my scent ended there.  I stayed put for awhile, but they refuse to leave.  They were hungry for my blood to be excavated from my body, as much as I thirsted for their blood.  I thirsted for vampire blood?  That was new to me and can be lethal in itself.  But I was a newborn hybrid and had not one drop yet.  I started to crave it uncontrollably, but fought the urge by biting my arm, watching it heal, and bit it again.  Soon Eric appears knowing I was there (guess it was our forever connection).  His main squeeze was with that group that was there too.  She asked him what was up, but knew already why he was there by just looking at him.  She announces to all the vampires in the store to bite him and they will become hybrids.  They fiend for it . . . to become anything better, and Eric tried to tell them it didn't work that way.  His main squeeze flew at him and bit him in the neck, and starts laughing hysterically.  As soon as she was done a biker man vampire latches onto him as well, and others were right behind him.  I couldn't see him go down like this, and besides this was my fight.  I pulled the drape away and yell out, "here I am, ain't I the one you want?"  I charged at the man that is on Eric, and leap on his back like a wild beast attacking its prey.  I use both my feet and my hands to throw the man across the room.  Suddenly all our attention turns to Eric's main squeeze and the guy who also bit into Eric as they suddenly explode.  "I told you it doesn't work this way, " Eric yelps to those around.  But the quarrel they had with me didn't end there.  I was fast and I was manic.  They made me grow angry at there plot against me that I went around the room, tearing flesh and bone away from each and every one of them like it was hardly a challenge.  It was exhilarating to me to feel such energy coursing through my veins.  It was Eric's curse that he is bound to desire me for the remainder of his years since he tasted me, while I lay with my husband to rule over the underworld. 

Strange Sexual Creatures

1/13/2013

My dream started out by being on a screened-in porch.  My parents (well, my father's house now, Leslie Thomas) to be exact, but in the dream it was my porch.  I was on the porch with Jordan Supon who was standing with me holding me from behind, along with the gazillion cats my father would normally have.  From about 20 feet away, I see a bobcat come from behind the brush on the left.  I grab Jordan's attention excited, "Look!  Do you see that?"  The bobcat was rather small and easily became skittish and ran off.  A few minutes later while we enjoyed the outdoors and wildlife, another bobcat came around the same corner.  I actually had to take a double-take because it was a large bobcat and wasn't sure it was.  It was very majestic and glided through the grass crossing the entire length of the yard.  I observed the motions in the shoulders and the stride in its legs - how muscular and strong it was.  Just before disappearing around the corner of the next house, the bobcat turned his head . . . looked squared at me, and we locked eyes like a mystery to solve behind those eyes of the big cat.  Then, he looked at the cats on the porch like yummy pork chops and I yelped, "They are not food!"  And he turns and struts away.  Jordan after that was not in the picture and I don't know why.  I had to get to that bobcat.  Was he in the front yard now?  I went through the house to get to the front, which seemed like hours and apparently my dream thought so too!  I went outside and I don't see it.  For some reason I had a strong desire to communicate with this bobcat, as I felt there was something off about how he looked back at me - not like a normal animal would do.  At this point my dream jumped a little and I was inside a neighbors house.  The neighbor's house was white and the decor was art deco.  I walked in through the foyer and in the back by the patio I see a man against the white walls between a lower family room and a kitchen.  He was moving his body seductively like some sort of dance.  Very artistic like, similar between a ballerina mixed with a stripper.  Suddenly, as I was in awe trying to figure out what he was doing, a 40-something woman appears behind me.  Her hair was brown and big with lots of hairspray.  It reminded me of the 1980s style - not that attractive.  But her body proved otherwise in a latex suit with a zipper in the front.  The zipper was undone and rested just between her breast, making a V-shape.  It definitely made many guess that laid eyes on her what her endowments were.  She knew I was there for a reason, but she changed subjects while handing me a drink.  "Would you like to stay and watch?"  Watch what?  What was she asking?  The only thing after seeing a half-naked man dancing exotically and her dressed provocatively, was that she wanted me to watch them have sex.  Instead of what any decent person would do and just ask what I'd be watching, I took a leap and said, "sure!"  Low and behold it wasn't sex between them that she wanted me to watch; it was her body painting him.  His body lay ever so delicately on a large canvas - natural art - what a marvelous idea!  As I approached to watch, I see distinct tattoos on this 6 foot hansom man.  The tattoos were like leopard print from his shoulder blades down to his lower back.  I remember thinking that it's strange that I just saw a bobcat, and now see this exotic man with wildcat prints - a symbolic meaning, perhaps, or something more?  "Is that . . . that tattoos?"  I ask him.  He looked at me as he was posing on the floor, on all fours ironically, as if he knew me, "What do you think?"  He questions back charmingly.  The woman broke our contact.  "Please sit . . . better yet, lay with him."  I was drawn to this man, like I was the bobcat, so I didn't hesitate to do so.  His eyes yellow-brown like amber, just like how the bobcat stared at me, but this man had a side grin I couldn't ignore.  I also couldn't ignore why I was so drawn to him.  Was I curious if he was either man or beast?  Or if this man is the beast?  Or was I attracted to his masculinity and charm that I cannot be in denial of whether he was man or beast?  The woman left the room.  I sit first on the floor next to him, then slowly like a woman who was in a predicament that couldn't leave, I lay down and he crawls over me.  He speaks but I don't know what.  He looks again into my eyes, like he's hungry with rage, and his cock thrusting against my clitoris through our clothes certainly told me he was hungry for something.  I was quiet.  It didn't feel right, yet I liked it.  Some few minutes passed, and my virtues come back to me - I wasn't under his spell, and I told him, "We can't do this!  You're not completely human, are you?  And . . . your wife, you have a wonderful wife that's in the other room."  She appears around the corner; I fumble back onto the sofa.  "Awe, stay for a few, meet our daughter who'll be here in a minute," she tells me.  She is now in a nice satin robe lighting up a cigarette.  I turn to the man, "You have a daughter?"  His daughter walks in.  She is not a kid.  "How old is she?" I question.  He replies, "Twenty-three."  All I can think is that he must have had her young or he holds his age well.  She walks in, down the foyer, kisses her mom and dad on the cheek.  Her mom leaves the room again, and her daughter suddenly turns vixen and jumps on her father's lap and starts kissing him passionately and deeply like in a romantic relationship.  "What the fuck!?"  I said out loud, "is this normal between creatures like you?"  She stops kissing him, twirls her gum on her finger and answers, "You mean this?"  Pointing to him and her.  "No, no.  He is not my father.  Mom just likes to call him that.  She doesn't want anyone else near him - she wants him all to herself."  "Well, shouldn't she - he's her husband?"  I question.  The girl laughs.  "They are not married!  Like I said, she doesn't want anyone else to have him, so she tells people they are together, especially to other women.  She hasn't even had him, so why should she keep him to herself - he adores me."  Then she kisses him again.  He touches my leg, by hinting to me to join in.  I was done playing this degenerate game - I didn't even know what was the truth anymore, so I ran outside.  It was pouring down rain and I began to walk the opposite direction of my house.  I went inside Jimmy Campbell's and his girlfriend Janet's house to look for them.  They look like they were having a gathering.  I finally found them and sat across from them and began chatting . . .

Not Your Average Playground

1/11/2013

Last night's dream was all over the place - mentally and physically.  Possibly because I don't remember the dream all too well.  I remember I was with Jordan Supon at a family gathering - okay, well with my parents.  We were having dinner out somewhere and Jordan and I started arguing.  I don't know what for but the arguing escalated and I was heated over something minuscule, but it was a value I promised myself I'd never let someone tell me any differently about.  I ended up breaking it off with him.  It was hard to fathom and I never knew that we'd go our separate ways, but I was prideful for the reason I done so, that I told myself it had to be done.  Jordan didn't want to break it off but respected our differences. 

 . . . The dream jumps to me being on a playground.

A playground that both children and adults can play on.  It was like a small amusement park, but all the activities were in a circle and you go to the next one, and this circular activity revolves  around a sandy playground.  I was with my friend Patrick Joseph going from one activity to the next, but even then I was thinking about Jordan.  Patrick did comment that our breakup was over something stupid and I should still be with Jordan.  I told him, "Probably.  But I got to be a free bird, at least for now, to enjoy some things he rather not."  I remember in my dream having this sense of individuality and my own identity again such as in my youth.  Perhaps something I miss from that time.  We got on this one ride - Patrick is at one end and I'm at another facing each other.  This was a water ride and just before going through a waterfall, I look behind me to see who is in the next seat and it was my friend Ty Kukielka that I originally met at church.  He was sad . . . very sad it appeared.  He was looking down and sighing.  I didn't even say hello because he was so sad - and I thought for some reason he was sad about me.  Right then I woke up!